The Sorry Trickster
by R-chen
Summary: Will this trick go to far and hurt someone at the 4077th camp? PLZ R&R! Any suggestions welcome!


                                 The Sorry Trickster 

            "All personal please report to O.R. on the double" The P.A. operator announced.

            "Can't they stop the shooting already." Grumbled Hawkeye as he slammed his white Queen in the middle of the Chessboard. If I ever am going to be able to beat Charles, I have to have time to practice! Just then he got up and shuffled out across the compound. Margaret and Winchester were already checking in the wounded soldiers. Just then Margaret called to Hawkeye in a panic, "Pierce, come quick!"

            "What is the matter Margaret?"

            "Look at this kid. Where do we even begin? He hardly has anything left to sew up!"

            "Man, this is a pretty bad looking chest wound! What happened to him?"

            "They say he stepped on a land mind. That would explain why half of his foot is gone as well."

            "Get this kid in first and have Charles get on it right away!" 

            "I know you are Chief Surgeon Pierce, but why Charles?"

            "Remember when he first arrived and he preformed that heart surgery that we had no clue how to even start."

            "Well, Captain now I get your drift." Replied Houlihan. 

They had now been in O.R. for several hours and Winchester had still not completed the kid who had stepped on the land mind. When he heard the nurse say, "Doctor, I am not getting an pulse."

            "Dang, come on breath, don't die on me!" Winchester frantically tried to revive him. He tried everything he possibly could, then he her the nurse say,

"I am getting a weak pulse." Everyone else was dead silent. 

            "I could not see what you did Winchester, but keep it up!" Colonel Potter commented. Everyone then charmed in with good jobs and applause. Now that night had fallen on the camp people were trying to enjoy themselves. Margaret decided to go back to her tent. She just could not get what Winchester did in O.R. out of her head. Then she was certain that she just had to share, she started writing a letter to he best friend. Her name was Margie, she use to be a nurse, but now she worked for the U.S. Government. "Dear Margie…" She began. "I can't tell you how much I miss you. But, I just have to share this story with you. It is about this doctor who I work with. His name is Charles Winchester. He preformed one of the greatest revivals I have ever seen…"

It had now been about a week and the camp was running as normal as it always had when Potter got a pone call. "Colonel Potter Stars and Strips is on the phone."

            "Thanks Radar." He then picked up the phone. "Colonel Potter, 4077th M*A*S*H speaking."

            "Good, Colonel how have you been?"

            "Fine, what is the meaning of this call?"

            "Glad you asked, I was wondering if you had a Major Charles Winchester in your unit?"

            "Yes I do, but what does it matter to you?"

            "Well, Colonel…you see we heard that he just worked a miracle on this kid who had a bad chest wound from stepping on a land mind. We wanted to do a story on him to put in the Stars and Strips. Colonel, we think that the U.S. public should know about these kind of doctors."

            "Okay, you can do the story, but don't get in the way."

            "Oh, don't worry Colonel, I will send someone in the morning."

            "Okay, good-bye!" He said as he put down the phone. "Radar!"

            "Yes Sir?"

            "Tomorrow a reporter is coming."

            "Yes sir." Now night had fallen once again and morning was upon them. The jeep came bumping down the path and into the 4077th. Radar was there waiting.

            "Good day Corporal." Said the Captain as the jeep came to a sharp holt.

            "Yes Captain, I am the company clerk. But, you can call me Radar."

            "Well, Radar, I am Captain Clayton Smith." Said the reporter.

            "Yes sir, I will take your bags to the VIP tent."

            "Radar, I would prefer to bunk with the doctors."

            "Yes sir." He then started to carry the bags towards the Swamp. The Captain opened the Swamp door. He saw Hawkeye pitching cards. Then Hawkeye looked up and saw him, they stopped and did not move. They just kept starring at one another.

            "Clayton is that you?" Commented Hawkeye.

            "Of course it is."

            "Well, Hawk, are you just going to sit there or are you going to introduce me to your friend?"

            "Right, B.J., this is my friend Clayton. Clayton this is my fellow doctor B.J."

            "Clayton here is a real jokester." Hawkeye warned Beej.

            "All personal report to O.R., round two." Blared the P.A. They headed off, with Clayton following. He was standing in O.R. trying to get a better picture of Winchester when one of the nurses almost tripped on him. The Potter exclaimed, "Either be useful or get out."

            "Tell you what Clayton…you can help by going into the supply tent and getting some more gauze for later."

            "Sure thing Hawkeye!" Then he set off for the supply tent. When arrived, he started to look for them. He then tripped over a box in the floor. Looking down to see what it was he saw the making on the box which read " MORPHINE." He knew what Morphine was. It could even knock someone out temporarily. He thought for a moment then returned with the gauze to the O.R. They had been working for a solid sixteen hours. Afterwards they all decided to go over to Rosie's to celebrate. While there Hawkeye ordered drinks for the whole table which included Charles, Potter, Hawk, Clayton, and Beej. "Oh, Hawk, let me get those drinks for you." Offered Clayton.

            "Oh thanks." Replied Hawkeye. He then got up and got the drinks. Hawkeye stood up and helped him pass them out watching Clayton the whole time. As the conversation grew longer stretching into hours, Winchester said, "You know Gentlemen, I am getting a little tired, I think I am going to go back to the tent."

            "Good night Charles." The rest of them replied. He then got up and stumbled over to the Swamp, and dropped into the cot fast asleep. Back at Rosie's Hawkeye was noticing that Clayton had not touched his drink and looked quite confused. "Well, kids I think I am going to call it a night as well." Exclaimed Potter.

            "I think that is a good idea." Said B.J. Hawkeye and Beej returned back to the Swamp. Charles was already out like a light. "Look at that." Said Hawk.

            "What?"

            "Charles looks like he took sleeping pills." The next morning came and Charles was still asleep when Hawkeye woke up. This was not right, Charles was always the first one awake. Hawkeye got up and crept over next to Charles, then felt for his pulse. He was shocked to discover that his pulse was really slow. He then woke up Beej. "What is it Hawk?"

            "Whose the first one of us up all the time?"

            "Charles, why?"

            "Not today!"

            "What are you babbling about Hawk?"

            "Look for yourself!" Beej set up in his cot and saw Charles still fast asleep. "His pulse is about sixty."

            "Hawk, lets get him to post Post-op!" The two Swamp rats then carried him to Post-op. Just as they were setting him up in a bed, Major Houlihan came in. "What happened?"

            "We don't know ."

            "But, we do know that he is in a coma." Added Beej. Then Potter and Clayton entered. "Oh no! Oh no! I am so sorry!" Screamed Clayton.

            "What are you talking about?"

            "Well, I was trying to play a trick on Hawkeye and ended up getting Charles." Everyone spent the time to stop by and talk to Charles. "Charles, I never told you how much I respect you." Hawkeye commented. 

            "Yeah, don't go on us, we still need you here." Potter said. It was a couple of hours later when Charles started to wake up. Houlihan was there to greet him. "Where am I?" He asked.

            "Welcome back to the 4077th Major."


End file.
